EMOTION STIMULATED BY THOUGHT

​This article makes a distinction between emotion caused by present events and emotion stimulated by thoughts about the past or the future. The latter can get us into lots of trouble, distress and pain, even leading up to causing chronic depression. Let’s find out why the distinction between these 2 is so important.
Whenever we contemplate about the past or future in our thoughts we take ourselves out of our present. In effect, we remove ourselves from reality. But we also remind ourselves of the trauma of those events and can easily and often do cause ourselves to become upset, sad or angry. In effect, we create "stories" about ourselves, our background, our personality, our life experiences. Our reactions to these thoughts are quite real. The reliving of distress generates real sadness, pain, anxiety and worry. The process can cause us great personal anguish.
Our personal dialog with ourselves is really amazing and often artful. Most of the stories we create are true, or at least have a strong grain of truth at the core. When things like abuse are involved, the stories can have a depth of despair and agony that is difficult to resolve. And in many cases we may have gotten advice from therapeutic professionals to help us sort it out. Nonetheless, the stories can come back to haunt.
Types of stories: Past suffering, current social problems, worry over the future are examples of what a story might be about. Here are some examples.

Different types of stories:
Introspective stories: I am not lovable, I am shy and cannot make small talk, I am not attractive, I am fat, I look old.​
Stories of everyday life: Being nervous over a possible diagnosis, being worried over a loved one, feeling guilt over causing someone else pain, feeling disrespected by a colleague, being angry over how someone else is being treated.
Stories about the world: Feeling grief over the civilians hurt or killed in Palestine, feeling fear, anger and terror over expression of anti-Semitism, being upset over the political health of the United States. Politics and religion generate more stories than anything else.

Why this can be a problem:

Overthinking our own thoughts brings us real trouble:
  • We experience the emotional reaction over and over, causing chronic pain and anxiety.
  • We become ungrounded, detached from the reality of our life.
  • Our perception is affected. We make the wrong decisions.
  • We jump to conclusions and make errors in judgement.
  • Thoughts which generate emotion can also be highly inflammable and contagious.
One example of emotion triggered by thought: We are living in times where events outside of our individual lives are taking up lots of time in our emotional consciousness. A classic example is the concern many have over recent events in Israel and Palestine. Many people are fraught with deeply felt distress on either side of the calamity. Once we occupy our mind with thoughts about events outside our control then we in effect give ourselves emotional jolts, forcing ourselves to go through the stress we feel over the situation over and over till our emotions are in a tizzy. ​I know quite a few people who have lost sleep over this issue or others expressing deep social angst.

We make ourselves sick, often severely so. It is not good for our health, mentally or physically (or spiritually). In effect we are not practicing the Serenity Prayer. 
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can and
the Wisdom to know the difference.

Structured meditation enables you to see your thoughts as "bubbles" passing through your mind instead of ideas we get overwhelmed by. This article advocates doing something similar with our feelings instead of our thoughts, seeing our emotional experiences as stories. This allows us to step back, gain perspective and not be so burdened.

How emotion escalates:

Overwhelming emotion increases in intensity exponentially. This is especially true when discussing religion or politics. It becomes very dangerous because of the speed and contagiousness of the process. One current example: The terrible war between Israel and Hamas. 

We become triggered by our thoughts over these disturbing events. We empathize with the Palestinians and the Israelis, passionately. Upset and angry. We care. This is natural. Of course we react to these plights, as should be. But when empathy for others takes over our own well being, then we have gotten into a special state of mind that is not good for our health or others.

Knee-jerk reactions: Another condition often observed these days that doesn't quite fit into theory about thought based emotion but has many of the same qualities and side effects.

As we have seen, strong emotion can be very ungrounded, resulting in severe imbalance and damage. The knee-jerk reactions we encounter, often on the Internet especially, usually does not involve thought at all.  It has very destructive effects and is unfortunately extremely common, especially in political and social discourse. Once again, the tragedy in Gaza provides a very clear example. I often have read discussion on the Internet where when one person supports Israel, another accuses that person of being a baby killer or a supporter of genocide, without any clarifying language. Another example involves people who are transgender who inspire automatic disgust and hatred from others. These are both classic knee-jerk reactions. It is extremely inflammatory, cruel and very dangerous for society in general. It clobbers any coherent discussion of remedy or solution and quite quickly shifts into violent language. It is extremely ungrounded and treacherous for any society or country.

Once again the solution is to ground ourselves and once again the best way to do that is to breathe. If we are participating in this kind of discussion it is imperative not to respond with a counter knee-jerk reaction but instead to take a moment, breathe, regain composure and attempt a more grounded response.

My own experience:

Recently I've experienced a significant change for myself. My actual moment by moment experience of life is very different in an amazingly positive way. And it is all because of being able to recognize that I am often triggering myself emotionally with thoughts of past trauma or future anxiety. This "transformation" took place because I decided to celebrate my 80th birthday with a special dance production this past January. I asked many of my dance friends to celebrate how we are different. I had come to the point in my life where I no longer wanted to "fit in" but instead wanted to celebrate my "oddities". In so doing I discovered that actually most moments in my life were sad. That in fact you could pinch me and I would cry. I was chronically depressed. I sought some assistance from a visit to a counselor and came away with the realization that I was triggering myself over and over with my sad (but true) stories, keeping myself deeply traumatized. I also realized that I had a choice. I could recognize this traumatic memory as a story and put it aside or I could swim deeply in the feelings it generates.

It has become rather easy to recognize when this is going on. I developed a simple process for myself in response which has given me some real peace. Today I actually walk around with a smile on my face.  

(Please keep in mind that many or most personal stories are true. These are not fantasies. They are re-runs of reality.)

What to do about it: Each of these solutions brings ourself into the here and now instead of rethinking difficulties.

How do you feel in your body? Whenever you feel caught in one of your stories or thoughts, try this to break the cycle: 
  • Check in with how different parts of your body feel: the throat, the shoulders, the back of the neck, the chest, the diaphragm, the stomach, the abdomen. Where are your muscles tight? How is your breathing?
  • Specifically where in your body do you feel tension or congestion?
  • Stretch that area.
  • Breathe deeply into it.
  • Revaluate how you now feel.
Indulge in the 5 senses to bring yourself into the present: see, touch, hear, smell, taste. Notice your surroundings using any one or combination of these senses. One example is the Five Senses Exercise:
  • Notice five things around you that you can see.
  • Notice four things that you can touch.
  • Notice three things that you can hear.
  • Notice two things that you can smell.
  • Notice one thing that you can taste.
Ground yourself using any of the techniques described in Getting Grounded. The breath is key. Any time spent in practicing deep breathing will be incredibly helpful.

When you take stock of how you actually feel ​physically in the moment, the result may be that you feel nothing. I found it startling how often that was the case. If you live life truly in the present then many moments of your life will be filled with nothing!

Published March 18, 2024.