FINDING STRUCTURE AT HOME

One result of the NOVID-19 coronavirus pandemic is that isolation at home will probably be required for some time, particularly for those of us older. As we are restricted, it becomes all the more important to develop structure in our lives. Without structure, we are left feeling at loose ends with a sense that there is little to do other than watch TV or be online. We start feeling sluggish and irritable. Depression seeps in and we worry about things we have no control over. It sometimes feels like there is no purpose in life. The only place we go to now, aside from quick visits to the bank and grocer, are the walks some of us take to get outside. There are no gatherings, no work meetings, no appointments with chiropractors, no visits to gyms, no friends or family get togethers and no going out to restaurants. And to top it off, many are without work and low on funds.

We used to have a regular morning ritual of bathing, shaving, dressing, putting makeup on that is no longer necessary since we are seeing far fewer others in our lives. And what we look like doesn't matter nearly as much as it used to.

Seniors already know a lot about developing structure where none has existed as many of us have had to go through the same process when we retire as our days are suddenly empty. But unfortunately even that hard won organization of life's activities goes out the window as we are forced to hibernate. 

Why do we need structure? The first recommendation made by Scott Kelly, an astronaut who served for nearly a year on the International Space Station, is to schedule your time.

Every person is different. Some prefer a less structured life but if you feel at loose ends or depressed or worried about the future, a little structure is just what the doctor ordered.

​Those of you who are parents will understand what this means since one of the most important jobs a parent does is provide structure for their young ones. If you are living within a family, your life is probably already organized and often based on others' needs like eating together. Your family provides structure. However, during this time of home quarantine, the necessities of all being together with work and play intermixed provides opportunities to develop new structures that help keep things orderly. This can be an amazing time of adjustment that can bring you all closer together.

For those who are living alone, structure right now comes entirely from yourself. It is actually a wonderful time to experiment and figure out what you would like to anchor your life to. But no matter what, since we all have to adjust a lot right now, why not look at how we're doing it and what our choices are.

Wintertime is a wonderful time in a garden because you can see the structure of the garden. Maybe some old farm equipment there, a seating bench there, a long border of roses, wildflowers on the hill beyond. This is a time for us to see the structure of our life as it is and imagine what we would like it to be.

This is a rare opportunity to find out what really works for you. Now that we are away from all the distractions that modern life is full of, we can concentrate on what our body and mind and spirit really need. We can make our lives better during this challenging time instead of endlessly overwhelming. Here are some basic suggestions:
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  • The body loves consistency. It thrives with regular activity, no matter what undertakings you indulge in. The body loves doing things at the same time each day. An hour of exercise in the morning one day and the evening another is less satisfying than even just 10 minutes each day at the same time. Consistency is the most important element of a successful exercise program.
  • The mind needs stimulation. Endless television inspires little. I actually think that watching TV makes you dumber. The mind goes on a vacation and doesn't have to think. All it does is absorb. Reading on the other hand is a great way to engage your mind. The mind also loves getting organized, about anything.
  • ​The spirit needs expression. One of the ways we express ourselves is through conversation and that is now so limited. The spirit needs to feel it's valued and that comes through expression. Artistic expression, creative expression, song, dance, art, music, woodworking, auto mechanics, language, writing and crafting are but a few of the ways we have available to us.

The following are guidelines. There is nothing absolute about them. And things change from day to day requiring changes to your own schedule. These are suggestions to help you find peace and stability during this time of adjustment.

Identify what you are good at and where you
fall through the cracks:

Some things are best done at a consistent time each day:
  • Physical exercise: Choose whatever activity you like plus what you need and structure your own exercise regimen. You needn't do the same thing each day. Whatever works. Just be consistent in what you do and make it your highest priority. Setting aside a regular time is very helpful. 
  • Sleep: Effective and restful sleep is essential to good health. If you have trouble sleeping, one tip is that watching TV before bedtime can be too stimulating for developing a good sleep pattern. Calm, quiet which includes some deep breathing exercise may be more helpful. Develop a sleeptime regimen with regular sleep hours.
  • Spiritual ritual: Many are drawn to the nighttime practice of spiritual or religious thought. This is such a profound way to feel connected, so important during this challenging time.
  • Meditation: It is advisable to practice Mindfulness Meditation or any other type of structured meditation at the same time each day. This is one of the most effective habits you can include in your life. The benefits are formidable for any person, any age, any circumstance.
  • Morning ritual (brush your teeth, clean up, get dressed): How do you want to start each day?
Other things are good to do daily but timing differs:
  • Get outside.
  • Reduce stress: Perform a daily stress reduction practice.
  • Make social connections: Set aside time each day to connect with others by phone, by letter, by e-mail.
  • Read: Choose a regular time of the day to sit and read (the news doesn't count.)
  • Set up a safety ritual. Wash your hands for 20 seconds every time you enter your door. Regularly clean frequently used surfaces like doorknobs and car interiors that are often touched.
  • Plan and prepare meals, a necessary endeavor for someone in the household and a creative, nurturing and satisfying one at that.
Some other ideas:
  • Garden: Even 5 minutes feels wonderful.
  • Dress up: On occasion dress up, put your makeup on, dress your hair, even if you are all by yourself, especially if you are all by yourself.
  • Handle personal business: Put time aside to handle banking, accounting, paying bills. Do your banking on a regular schedule, going perhaps only once a week to do all your business at the same time.
  • Express yourself artistically: Dance in your living room. Sing in the shower. Play with your pets. Paint old hardware. Make gifts for people. Put time in your day to indulge in something creative that you are passionate about.
  • Keep a journal of your life in isolation: Take time each day to write in a journal or otherwise document your experiences. Take photos on your iPhone of your cooking, gardening, hobbies, accomplishments.
  • Accomplish something each day: Something that you can look back on and be proud of as well as actually notice. It doesn't have to be big or dramatic. It can be the small act of waving "Hi" to someone you live near but never interacted with.
  • Touch those you live with: Devote some time in your life to the sense of touch. We are so distant physically. We literally lose touch. There are all kinds of sensory exercises that would be wonderful but don't forget to touch the people and pets you live with. If you are by yourself, don't forget to give yourself heartfelt hugs.

In designing the form of your life in isolation, first recognize the structure that is already there, what parts of that are satisfying and what parts create problems for you. Add new things. Include the things you have to do plus the things you would love to be able to do. Experiment. Pay attention to timed things like exercise and sleep patterns. Getting those so we do them consistently is a great way to get started in structuring your life.

This time of hibernation is potentially very powerful. It puts us in a position where we have to change. If we are smart we take advantage of that and make changes for the better. Finding your satisfying structure in your home life gives you a huge advantage moving forward. This is a time of deepening our lives. Of turning inward to achieve that. This type of growth is not only very rewarding, it also gives us skills which will only help us in the future to have happier more gratifying lives.

Here are links to two different articles in the news that contain inspiring and helpful information about COVID-19. The input from 100 different doctors is moving and tells us what is really on their minds as they deal with the most impactful health crisis this country has seen in a century. Astronaut Kelly has excellent advice for how to survive being in isolation.

If you are older, now is a perfect time to improve your balance. As we are less active because of being hibernated, our sense of balance deteriorates, making falls more likely. Falls are the number one reason why many people are forced to move out of their own homes and into group residences. This is not a good time to live in a group residence so do anything you can to avoid having falls. Building Better Balance DVDs contain not only exercises to improve balance but plenty of tips to lower your fall associated risk. Small changes add up to a huge reduction in likelihood of having falls. Learn how through Building Better Balance.

Here is what one customer said recently:

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Published April 19, 2020